Caught

It wasn't easy to be me,
didn't want responsibility--
was once young,
liked to have fun,
and didn't hesitate to run!




Didn't want problem men,
but was in much sin--
always had a "friend."




But the dating game changed,
a player had rearranged a
young girl's mind--
smacked me far too much
on the behind.




Saw what I wanted to see,
wanted the player to just love me.
Thought I had the game figured out,
but my head experienced a clout.




Caught up in chasing after love,
received some insight from above.
Didn't want to wait for it to find me,
wanted what stood in front of me.




If now was now, so be it,
make the square try to fit
in a round hole, a lost soul.




You see, so many young girls
with hair full of curls,
with bright lipstick,
excited about Dick,
who is blind, and
could care less
about making them sick.




Months later bent over a toilet,
asking themselves, "Was it worth it?"
Regrets, upset, "Who was that
I just met?"




Didn't bother to put their guard up,
told to, "Shut the f*ck up!"
Pounding in and out,
boy men getting aroused when they shout.


So the young girl becomes crazy lady
now with a crying, wet baby,
wants Dick to make her his "Lady."
What?
He just wanted the butt.




But players don't change,
old lovers out of range,
always looking for a fresh piece of meat,
they leave lives incomplete.




Nicholl McGuire, see YouTube channel: nmenterprise7

If You Thought

If you thought that I ought,
I sought.


If you thought that I should not,
I fought.


If you believed I could,
I would.


People wrote my life stories,
I pretended to get the glories.


Told me they cared for me,
so many lies I would see.


They said what I should,
then I would, I would.


No joy with a new boy,
played by him like a toy.


Not happy with more money
or promises sweet like honey.


Always an issue,
go grab a tissue.


People say that they will do,
but sooner or later they forget about you.


Claim that they are being true,
this happened with more than a few.


Fall behind on bills,
climbing steep financial hills.


Desired to be on top,
no time to stop.


Thoughts run away from you,
"...got to do, got to do!"


Then one day you get sick,
from a demon's sticky lick.


Try to find a righteous way,
attempt to pray,
but forget what to say.


Calls come through on a phone,
pick up and get a dial tone.


No time to bring any more people in,
need to rid yourself of a sin.


A rebel keeps getting into trouble,
before long a life turns into rubble.




Nicholl McGuire

True Love Must Be Earned - a poem by Nicholl McGuire

Flowers, rain showers,
the beauty went on for hours.
I saw a rainbow after the last drop fell,
my health started doing very well.

Had been lovesick for days,
I thought it was just a phase.

This was something so new,
made me think of much to do.

In my sickness,
saw so many past faces,
had remembered being in so many dark places.

But this special person did things to me,
stuff I had dreams about, you see?

But days of spending time alone,
and feeling those pains that
made me groan,
I knew that this person was my one,
waited for years to finally have some real fun!

The best was yet to come!
Spent years fighting my fears,
and holding back so many tears.

Then along comes That One
who makes it all feel better,
I couldn't wait to sit
down and pen a love letter.

When I was a child,
I thought of times like these,
seemed so far beyond what
the eyes could see.

Worked hard to become free,
desired much for someone
to just love me.

Then you finally earn the right,
to be that only one in their sight.

Yesterday was definitely worth the fight.
Welcomed into that special someone's light.

The one thing that I yearned,
the one thing that I learned
is true love must be earned!

Nicholl McGuire
 

Rejected Kiss

Figured out
why he makes me shout
and why I want to get out!

Thought about the love I missed,
when I longed for a kiss,
but experienced a diss.

It was years before under a floor,
in a basement
when rejection left me sore.

I wanted so bad to feel glad,
but ended up feeling so mad!

What was a boyfriend for?
Relationships were such a bore.

At the young age of eleven,
I desired an earth like heaven.

There was much hoped for in that kiss,
one I didn't think I would miss.

Books and movies had prepared me for that day,
it was "...the kiss" they would say.

Something so special to make life better,
I asked for one in a love letter.

Prince Charming was supposed to pucker up,
but instead I felt ashamed, hoped he would shut up.

A boy wasn't ready for an adult life,
heard that love could cut like a knife.

So fast forward to this very present day,
rejection was evident--another reason to pray.

Nicholl McGuire

So Free!

Not strong, all wrong
a relationship didn't last very long.

Content with being single,
avoided places to mingle.

There was too much pain and stuff,
her poor heart yelled, "Enough is enough!"
So relieved to be over them,
especially that Worst Him!

For that mean one brought so much heartache,
spent years acting joyous and fake!
Men like him, come in every make--
gullible hearts they like to take.

So free to be a beautiful me!
No longer having to fight,
no longer out of sight.

Don't have to worry about who, what or when,
a heart no longer made of tin.

It is finally a good time in my life,
so over the ugly and depressing strife!

It's been a long time since I could smile,
oftentimes felt like I run a mile.

Sleepless nights, internal fights,
bad dreams...as trivial as it all seems,
yet someone, somewhere is in a
relationship with a lover who doesn't care.

Nicholl McGuire

Just Want to Be Happy

Unmasked his face
and saw what I wanted to see.
It was a personality sort of like me.

He had told me that he cared,
but the demon within just stared.

He had fought long and hard,
but all that did was retard
the growth of our relationship.

While his heart and mind was elsewhere--
in front of a computer screen his heart
he would share.
I just gave him an evil glare.

I was happy at first, grateful to give birth,
but lost my self-worth.
Too busy trying to find a lost me,
underneath the man on top of me.

So I looked to the troubled soul,
and held out my hand,
he took me to a distant land.
So not happy with the outcome,
1+1, I forgot the sum.

Saw what I wanted to see,
that personality sort of like me.

He was a master deceiver,
had found his receiver.
But his ways and actions said,
"I'll leave her."

Caught up in a fantasy of a few,
didn't listen to my own view,
now what was a girl to do?

Nicholl McGuire

 

Her Past, Her Ex - Crazy Love

She knew the time to tell you,
"I'm through, so over you!"
Regrets she had of saying, "I do."
She once asked often,
"What happened to you two?"

A conversation with her ex
who was often so complex.
He tried to find anyone
who would respond to his text.

A friend who was tired of being fired.
Her man got angry he would shout,
"Get out! Get out!"
She would spend weeks and pout.

Break up to make up,
that's all the couple ever did.
She wasn't quite ready to
cover the pot with a lid.

The last time she did,
it steamed and spilled over,
he thought he could show her.
He thought he could control her!

The woman was often mad,
some days she felt glad--
when he was nowhere around
he couldn't flip her world
upside down.
Saw her one day in town,
she wore no frown.
But I could see she had
a new clown.

"Better than the last..."
she said to me,
but as far as I could see,
he was just another who had her key.

She didn't protect her heart--
never from the start.
Nothing more than a Sweet Tart.

I could see the Old Me in she.
Wanting so bad for her to be happy,
believing his words, oh so sappy!

But another Mr. Wrong,
who talked too long,
and bragged about having
a big ding d*ng.

How long this would last,
before he was Past?

I wished her the best,
knew about that test.
Went my merry way
and told her, "God bless."

Time would only tell,
crazy love is hell!

Nicholl McGuire

 

He Hit Her Face

He hit her face
blood all over the place
it didn't matter what the race...
he hit her face!

To be hit anywhere,
but the face,
"Where's my mace?"

Temporary insane,
a messed up mane,
told to, "Stay in your lane!
You don't know who am I,
do you want to die?"

He didn't lose his cool
about her talking to a fool,
he lost his cool, because she
like his mother broke a rule.

"You don't question me, talk to me,
tell me what you think of me--
got it?  My daddy didn't take no
woman giving him lip, now here,
drink this, take a sip."

She attempts to get up off the floor,
heads to the door, her face is sore.

"You won't leave here, wipe that tear!
I'm not going to jail, hell!  Sit right here!
Why you make me hurt you like this?
Come here baby, give me a kiss.
Now you listen to me, listen real good,
just do what I tell you, it's for your own good."

Nicholl McGuire also blogs on Laboring to Love an Abusive Mate.

One, Two, Three

One, two, three...
he said he was in love with me.
But that's not what I could see!

I swear I heard him say, "Love me."
One person's name is on his family tree.

He gave me one, two, three roses
to hide what was happening under our noses.

There was one, two, three women we knew.
Then years later there was more than a few!

One, two, three people died and that's when
he learned they all lied!

What they said, what happened in bed.
Down a black hole he was led.

Everyone paid the price,
he did away with all his Sugar and Spice.

Bitter, mean, and always ready for a fight--
hated everyone, everything in sight!

Skin was changing, heart unchanging.
Life had been rearranging.

I had long left, before he committed theft.
My departure was deft.

Before I allowed myself to pity him,
one, two, three I refused to go out on a limb.

Nicholl McGuire

 

A Devil of a Man

What more could I do
when my mind said, "You're through!"

No more opening a door,
no more shopping at the store,
or asking, "Would you please pick those things
up off the floor?"

Eyes stare back at me as if to kill me,
but I know no fear, I wipe a tear.

A sad affair, I took a dare,
and now all I can do is stop and glare.

So done with the attitude and so-called "Nice" acting rude!

*                          *                             *

There was once a man I knew,
he had many girls he didn't know what to do.
They thought he was fine, some made him,
"Mine."  But things were all over when
they didn't tow the line.

He would start to behave in negative ways
act rather odd for days and days.
Once happy girls' thought, "He's strange."
Then their personalities would also change.

He would then blame them
for going out on a limb
to help poor him.

He would lie, cry, say he would die
if ever one left while he stood before them
with his raised chin cleft.

The weird man had no real reason
for dismissing each girl after a season.
No understanding of love,
the nerve of him,
he prayed to one Above,
yet still no Holy Ghost came like a dove.

The empty soul was like a mole,
blind to sunlight, enjoyed the night.
Used words to fight,
then one day no girls in sight.

So he left me with one question to ask,
"Devil, who might be your next task?"

Nicholl McGuire