One, Two, Three

One, two, three...
he said he was in love with me.
But that's not what I could see!

I swear I heard him say, "Love me."
One person's name is on his family tree.

He gave me one, two, three roses
to hide what was happening under our noses.

There was one, two, three women we knew.
Then years later there was more than a few!

One, two, three people died and that's when
he learned they all lied!

What they said, what happened in bed.
Down a black hole he was led.

Everyone paid the price,
he did away with all his Sugar and Spice.

Bitter, mean, and always ready for a fight--
hated everyone, everything in sight!

Skin was changing, heart unchanging.
Life had been rearranging.

I had long left, before he committed theft.
My departure was deft.

Before I allowed myself to pity him,
one, two, three I refused to go out on a limb.

Nicholl McGuire

 

No Touch

It's such
a simple thing
a touch.

Why must he be,
like me?
Resistant to opportunity.

Build up romance,
stop focusing on finance.
When was the last time we danced?

No touch,
such
a shame.
Relationships like this, lame.

What one will do for fame,
to share a shame...
tired of playing his game.

There are winners
and then there are losers.

Losers become
abusers.

Nicholl McGuire

Without Him

Got a phone call
that was all.
The voice told me to, "Stand real tall--
cause he isn't worth the trouble,
didn't need to be with Barney Rubble."

Yeah, I was going to get this right,
I would state my truth and avoid a fight--
would rest easy and sleep tonight.

Some men think they are real big,
got women with holes to dig.
Found a way to solve my issue,
for one, I stopped grabbing tissue.

You see, sometimes we think we know
and sometimes we love for show,
but disrespect comes with a blow.

No time to be with The One
a heart he had once won.

More concerned about dollars and cents
and who or what he represents.

Looked around for all the signs
and realized I was behind the times.

Kept waiting for something good,
"I wish, I wish, he would..."

Then changed my mind,
a future I had to find.


Nicholl McGuire

You're Not Crazy, He's Just Wrong for You

Unclean hands,

he calls them clean.

That’s what he does,

inner spirit, mean.

Wrong about issues,

says he’s right.

Hold things against you,

all night.

Starts trouble with his lies,

claims he tells the truth.

Ignores your cries.

You say up,

he says down.

There he goes with his frown!

Show him a good time and a few good things,

he looks for the bad in the lyrics that he sings.

Passive, aggressive.

Seeks ways to pay you back,

puffs himself up,

came from lack.

Doesn’t listen to sound advice,

wisdom he ignores;

rather play a head game of dice.

What’s up with this man?

Rarely smiles.

Been walking with him for miles.

Convinces self,

“I’m good.”

Doesn’t want anyone telling him, “You should…”

A distorted view on who he really is.

Love like his, loses its fizz.

Tried communicating,

But so suffocating!

Feelings used against me,

Pain runs like the sea.

So I went to God…

witnesses saw the truth,

pointed out lies,

relationship dies.

Now he doesn’t speak,

tries to appear meek.

No one’s friend

when in sin.

Don’t have the patience

to start again.

Can’t counsel anymore,

asking God to restore

 

a broken heart once more.

 

 

Nicholl McGuire

The End

I gave him my all,
now I'm talking to a wall.

Rather be at a mall or
on a phone call, then be with him
staring at lights so dim.

"What's up with this man?"
Picture myself getting a skin tan,
surrounded by water and white san'.

I thought he'd be my friend
to the end.
But that wouldn't happen,
cause angry outbursts don't mend.

He needed fun,
I was on the run.
Love-makin' happened
now we're done!

We made a perfect pair.
But my heart has a tare.

He doesn't want me as far as
I can see.
I rather be free
alone with me.

Nicholl McGuire

It Was All Lies

His smile was a lie like that of a clown.
Behind the face was evil.

The first date
Corners of eyes were looking at someone else.

Next date
Phone rang unanswered.

Third date
Late again, always an excuse.

Fourth date
Lost in eyes and words.

Fifth date
Life stories.

Sixth date
Lustful thoughts.

Seventh date
His eyes were like snakes still looking at others.

Why did I allow this?
I reasoned it was natural.
I shook away what I thought was insecurity.

Told him I didn't believe in men having women friends.
He thought I didn't know any better.
I should have said I didn't believe he could be a friend to women.

He held my hand.
Lips desperate for a kiss.
Another lie dripped from his tongue.

I wasn't his only one,
he guided us to a false light.
They got away before
the union to create a replica of he.
I didn't.
He was covered in darkness.
I refused to see
I blinded myself.

Found an old red and black book
buried under dirty clothes.
The key to his strange demeanor.
A symbol used in dark cults on its cover.
It gave me weird feelings.
I couldn't put it down.
I was curious.
Highlighted text
Underlined text
Stars next to text.
This was his bible.

Naked women
photos
books
videos.
His hobby.

Ignorant me.
I was an answer to his dark prayer.
A sex slave.

My duties
to serve him
to give him
to do for him...
in return for my loyalty
a stick
to poke
to stroke
to jab
to hurt.

I sought a way out
of this mess
he called a relationship.
This was a virus.
I was infected with
his lies
his life
his dream
his plan
his scheme.

Let someone else be his prey,
so I prayed.
The sex slave left.

That's when he came to his senses,
but it was too late.

Nicholl McGuire

I'm Not Going to Say It, But I Have To...

I wasn't going to say it.
Determined to stick it out.
The words...
oh they sat on the pit of my stomach and were making me ill
too many times I swallowed them!

Those words that kill relationships were bubbling.
Stirring up all kinds of emotions.
Self-control was a challenge.

But one day you made it easy
you reached down inside of me
and made me throw them up!

"Get out!" you said.
"Where do I go?"
It had been a long time since I felt this way.
The last one who said it, put his hands on me.

Why did these men hate me so much?

They never wanted me to say anything to them.
Not a piece of advice, not a compliment, not anything!
They just wanted me to admire them while they stared at my beauty.
Take their instructions and don't ask questions.

Why did I attract fools?

I really didn't want to say it, but he made me...
I didn't want to go, but he helped me walk out the door.

Returned to an old life that didn't treat me much better
only to come back to him again and nothing got better.

He had only become stronger, angrier.
Criticized me for far too long.
Walked by me like I was a pet.
Rolled his eyes like a b*tch.

"I'm tired...tired of you!
Don't breathe on me.
Your breath smells.
Tired of your miserable little hells!
Hate the look of your face.
Tired of this race.
Don't like the way you make me feel.
Your body heavy, you don't skip a meal!
Your devilish eyes
I despise.
Why, oh why, did I believe your lies!"

"So this is it,
we don't fit?" is all you could say.

No more wondering about you
no more worrying about what to do.

So I said it..."we're through!"
and now I am ready to move on.

Nicholl McGuire