I'll Be Home Soon

Wishing, hoping, waiting
for you to call
can't wait until we see each other again.
I can feel you inside of me
your heart is beating
you are so very sad.

The distance is getting next to you.
You want what you can't have for now.
Hurry up, hurry up!!!
Time is not making the heart grow fonder.
Time is breaking an already wounded heart.

The flight is too much for my pocket.
The train is too long for my soul.
The bus is too crowded for my thoughts.

I will be home soon!
I will make love like you have never felt before!
I will leave my imprint within you.
You will never desire another...

Coming home soon,

Yours.


by Nicholl McGuire
http://spiritualpoemsbynicholl.blogspot.com

Where is The One?

Married

Convict

On the down low

Baby mama drama

Jobless

Unattractive

Unintelligent

Angry.

A selection of men

Given to the single woman

Who is

Single

Not in jail

On the up top

No baby daddy blues

Employed

Attractive

Intelligent

Happy.

Surfing on the Internet

Riding with party-goers

Watching men at work

Helping

Hoping

Wishing

Waiting

For the right one

The one

Who is just like her.

It isn't easy,

But good things are worth waiting for.

For more poems and related articles by Nicholl McGuire, Click Here!

When People Love to Extremes

Love my job so much!
Didn't want to have to leave to make plans
for family, friends and everything else in between.

Love my house!
Sacrifice everything including relationships just for the upkeep.
No one understands how important my house means to me, but me.

Love my car!
Watch your hands, your feet, your butt in my seat.
Don't bother to ride unless you have gas money put aside.

Love my dog!
He's my best friend, will kill a man about him.
Respect him like you do a child and call him by his name.

Love my mother!
Refuse to accept what others say about her even when I know she's wrong.
Broke up with women over her, will never put anyone before her.

Love my child!
Lost and confused. A problem to society, but I will defend.
It wasn't his fault, it was yours.

Love my money!
More than life itself! It sustains me, heals me when God isn't bothered.
Don't ask me for any, you go get your own!

Extreme, selfish, jealous, crazy love.
To fight, argue, steal and kill for the "it."
An "it" dressed up pretty who means well
deadlier than the devil himself.
She shows up with good intentions.
He has her interests in mind.

They both rattle their so-called happy home with long hours at work,
an unexpected purchase, a trouble-making relative, and selfish desires within.

To love someone or something more than yourself, a foolish action.
It causes a negative reaction and in time many will learn the hard way.

Nicholl McGuire

When Mothers Fall Out of Love

Lost my freedom!
My spirit
My smile
My laugh
My peace
My joy
My strength
to the man in black
the baby in blue
to another in red
couldn’t make sense of all this.

This is why strangers look stressed,
confused, bitter, unresolved issues.
Too many screams, not enough money.
And I envied this life?

What was I thinking?
That’s right, I wasn’t.
God was.
A vessel - all I am is a vessel.

Hold my hand through this maze
of confusion!
Happy mom, sad mom.
Angry wife, peaceful wife.
Hateful friend, loving friend.

Help!
I’m falling out of love!


N. McGuire

Laboring to Love an Abusive Mate

It's been a long time coming but I have finally come face to face with my past. A past that shamed me, almost left me for dead all in the name of love. I don't know why I ever put so much trust in one man at 21 years old, but I did. I thought he would be my solution to a childhood that wished for a father's love. Although my dad lived with us, his head wasn't with us unless we made him look good by doing well in school or made him look bad by not being obedient. I had longed to talk with my dad about everything that was going on in my life. I wanted him to listen, advise me in love, and most of all embrace me and say, "Whatever your problem, it will be okay." Instead, I got criticism, jokes about my acne ridden face, and constantly being told that I was exaggerating a story everytime I had the courage to share a part of me. My parents had not grown with me as I grew up, they still saw me as a little girl looking for attention by telling stories of make believe. As much as I wanted them to take me seriously, the more I felt they were just becoming more and more anxious for me and my abstract mind to leave the house. Eventually I did and when I finally got from up under the dictatorship, I ran into the arms of a man who was like my dad: strict, serious most of the time and controlling. It was his way or no way. I wrote a journal of my ordeal with this man by using poetry as my healing. I pray someone who is reading this blog and having trouble with an abusive mate will get this book, it may save your life!

Love Has Lost Its Shine

Speak when spoken to.

No warm embrace.
No kiss upon my happy face.
Went to God seeking grace.
Left emotions all over the place.
His face often looks of disgrace.

Changed his mind about this life of ours.
Wish that he had magical powers,
to turn back the hands of time.
Wasn’t ready to embrace love divine.
Thinking this was all a plan of mine.

I accepted this responsibility.
Could have left and gone to the city.
Didn’t go around looking for pity.
Now I stay up singing, “Itsy Bitsy.”

“Itsy bitsy spider went up the water spout
Down came the rain and wash the spider out
But then came the sun…”

The spider got back up again.
I get back up again!
No more rain in this house to knock me down!
Time for change!

No more wondering, wishing or waiting.
I can’t change him,
he can’t change me!


Nicholl McGuire

Stalemate

He was light, shining upon my wounded face.
Opened up my heart, caused me to trust again.
I was happy.

He talked to me, listened to me.
Thought of me…
Created a world around me.
I was excited.

But then we had a child…

He became distant from me.
Redirected his emotions for me and gave them to the child.
I was no longer first.
I had become second best.

Conversations of the past I had with him.
Tried to make him see what we had missed.
He changed for a day maybe even two.
Then grew silent.

No longer interested in me.
He must think I’m a fool.
I see what’s happening.
I don’t have years to fix what didn’t have to be broken.

My thoughts have moved on, yet my heart hasn’t…at least not yet.


Nicholl McGuire

Relationship Games

Exchange phone numbers
play the game of who will call first?

Exchange stories of the past
does anyone really care?

Exchange dates and times to see one another
who will commit?

Exchange money for entertainment
neither insists to pay.

Hold on to hands open for something new.
Hold on to memories won't be too trusting.
Hold on to past lovers and say there only friends.

Now the calls of lust come.
Want another replay to numb the pain that haunts a broken soul.

Too busy to address issues rather break up to make up.
Too unforgiving but will bury it just this once.
Too afraid to commit to someone just as broken.

Play the game until one grows weary.
Then stop when someone else comes along that's new.
Gamble once again with unresolved issues, a misguided spirit, and no money.
Claim an unsuspecting victim in the game we call, relationship.

Nicholl McGuire

Adult Lust

We didn't waste anytime.
From a few phone calls, dinner, a walk in the park
and now we lie naked between wet sheets.

I reflect to a time I first saw him.
He was handsome, reminding me of a childhood friend.
His smile displayed innocense, deceitfully saying,
"I want nothing more than friendship."

He teased me with his simplicity.
No complicated arrangements to make time to talk.
He was careful in the way he spoke, his voice
never cracked, stuttered or raised.

I felt overly trusting of this man I barely knew.
His cubicle around a corner from mine.
Time didn't stand still when we saw one another.
We practically bumped into each other and only said, "Excuse me."

Then one day without notice, a request for a phone number,
then an impromptu invitation to dinner.
The stranger was secretly interested.

Our attraction grew with each glance across candlelight,
he was something new for me and I for him.
Neither of us gave each other time to talk about the past,
break each other's heart, and make plans for the future.

We only wanted what we could get now.
The "now" was more important, then anything else.
He wasn't what I had envisioned myself to be with,
but I had settled.

As we lie on our backs in the dark,
both of us have rolled over.

We both know the truth. There will be nothing more to this in the morning.

Nicholl McGuire