The Narcissist

If I told him how much I love him
I doubt he would even care
so I protect my soul,
not willing to share.

If I told him how I felt when he
acted so sweetly to others,
he would claim he doesn't
act any different in front of the brothers.

If I told him that I wish that he
wouldn't use me like a dish,
he would just shake his head,
deny and insist...

"You got me all wrong,
didn't I already hear this song?
I like to be me, can't you see?
So what that I can be demanding,
why talk about me?  Look at you,
I don't like your view.  I don't do what
you think I do.
Don't expose me...you know I can sue! 
People like me, because I'm funny--
besides I make lots of money.
You should be happy to be with someone like me,
don't you see?  I am a treasure, God's gift.
How long did it take you to find a real
man through your sift?
I picked you because I thought you were meant for me,
but I realize now, an old fantasy from age 23.
Aren't you supposed to be my help-mate? 
This is why I agreed to date. 
Why couldn't you just be real nice...entice,
but no you had to be unpredictable like rolling dice?
So I ignore you, so what? 
I'll come around when I need some butt.
So you don't like how I am?
Guess you will go back and tell your fam...
I am a good man, oh yes I am!"

He doesn't hear the rolling waves of pain,
I think this man is partially insane!

He doesn't hear the lies, he tells,
looks the other way when he fails.

Loves to blame this person, this thing and that place,
walks around with a grimace on his face.
But give him something to help build his life,
then personal jealousy will create some strife.

"Why didn't I think of that...what's up with that?
Think I will go pet The Cat..."
Yet, his good mood doesn't last very long,
then it's back to singing that old, tired song...

"He doesn't love me, he doesn't care,
all he does is sit back and stare.
I hate his glare, life seems so unfair...
why did I take myself up on this dare?"

Nicholl McGuire

Mean and Rude

Looked the other way
when I had something to say--he was rude.

Found a way to ignore me,
covered his ears so I could see.
What happened to fun times--the glee?

"He looks on the bright side..."
Yeah right, not him, he lied.

Referred to me as "someone"
while he talked on the phone.
Resisted the temptation to raise my tone.

Look!  This is how it can be,
being with someone who ain't free...

Emotionally!
Physically!
Spiritually!

lost without the God within thee.
Had to test the spirits to see.

In the past, I use to think that love could last.
I even went so far to take a 40 day spiritual fast.

Remembered that man who was once very kind.
He thought of more than getting some behind.

Saw a man who had white around him like a dove,
he had that Holy Spirit kind of peace and love.

But things all changed when...
the first lady's life went dim.

No one really knew what kind of sin Mean was in--
packed his entire life in a box, a bin.

But God always has a plan for a mere man.
It doesn't matter if he is white, fat, black or tan.

If he wants love that is real,
then he believes in something surreal.

He holds his arms and hands up
and asks the one true God to fill his cup.

You see I learned a lot from both Mean and Rude
even when they acted stupid and shrewed.

I realized they too believed in enemy lies
I saw how the two like to compromise.

One for money, the other for power
then evil created his rainshower.

But sooner or later Mean and Rude
will have to trade those ugly dudes,
otherwise face the angel of death
that eats his young up like a drug named Meth.

Nicholl McGuire

You Don't Need Me

You don't need me
just wanted me
didn't want what I was offering
just borrowing
had a plan
from the beginning.

Have some fun
then your done
on to the rest.

You looked at me one day
something fell upon your heart
you knew that this one was for keeps.

You didn't want to buy
just try
didn't want a commitment
too much work
didn't want to settle
had been there done that.

But then things changed,
maybe you needed me after all.
Maybe you wanted what you now can't have
you learned a little too late
you found an escape
and now you want to close the gap.

Should have thought about that
before
should have listened closer
to what I had said
while we laid down in bed.

Should have prayed for a solution
could have closed the door of confusion
but it was familiar
sometimes chaos makes one comfortable.

It was too easy to get me
even easier to keep me
but you didn't know how
couldn't figure out the man
didn't have any plan.

So self-pity, hate, cry
moan, then wipe your tears
start all over with someone else
and when you come to a detour
find a way out
parade her around
smile and look down.

You don't need me.


Nicholl McGuire

Loving Someone Else But Me

Who do I see before my eyes?
The one I once loved
he was surrounded by a yellow light of happiness I so desired.

He loved me when I thought I couldn't be loved.
For I had spent many years feeling unloved.

No kiss upon the nape of my neck.
No arms that embraced my waist, spun me around,
and kissed me with lips that said, "It will be alright, I love you baby."

I had longed for memories of awaking to a smile.
My body ached for a slow caress that didn't move away
seeking the next body to hold.

I thought I found what I had been wishing for in him,
but I was wrong.

He was attached to another in mind, still heard her voice,
wished that his present would be different, thought far too long
about the past.

He was attached in body too.
At times his stride would go back to a time when he moved
the same with her.

Then the final blow to my heart, his spirit still connected.
He couldn't allow himself to drown in prayer for me,
because he was too busy still praying for her.

So I await my sentence until I am free again...
maybe the next time things will be different.

For more poems and relationship articles written by Nicholl McGuire http://www.associatedcontent.com/nichollmcguire

Some Men Can't Break Up, Some Women Can't Let Go

Cheating,yelling, lying
cowards
can't tell you how they really feel
ignorant.

Let's play the guessing game
for five plus years
what's wrong
want to talk
what's on your mind?

Nothing he says.

Hugs rare
Kisses turned into pecks
No eye contact
Keep walking while talking
Silent.

We broke up after the first year
but I didn't get the memo.
Thought they were just relationship growing pains.
But he saw something different.

He said it isn't you
it's me.
I said it isn't me
it's you.

Too many men in the world without the baggage
they don't have his childhood wounds, relationship scars, mental issues
it's just too damn easy to move on...

So I'll stay
and he agreed.

This is our happily ever after.

Love Poetry So Easily Misunderstood

A love poem paints abstract pictures
of one's heart, mind, soul
with broad, bold strokes or thin, suttle ones:
the good, the bad, the ugly.

A love poem advises, wishes, dreams, lies or curses.
To those ignorant of its functions,
not always does a poem tell the story of the one painting the picture.

There are no rules, no regulations, no obligations
when the poet pours out his or her soul or tells another's story,
love poems do not always stay in between lines.

Just as lovers deceive one another with their false smiles and reassurances,
love poems, at times, may suffocate the readers' common sense
for they are enhanced, specially designed to take lovers far away from all that is or draw them near in hopes that they will change.

Love poems may be therapeutic for some, but oftentimes are not
they just exist, nothing to gain, nothing to lose.

Psychologists, therapists, and friends who don't understand,
analyze the writer as if he or she has left themselves wide open
for opinion, therapy, or study
their efforts are fruitless.

A love poem simply is just what it is
a story whether fact or fiction it's just a story.
If only eyes who read love poems would refrain from focusing on the why
and looked toward the what of their own lives.

What is it about you that makes you run or hide from love?
What is it about you that makes you embrace or fall in love?

For the poet tells the story to the reader who listens and learns,
but woe to the one who doesn't.


Written By Nicholl McGuire

A Simple Poem for One in Love

Taking a moment out of my day
I sit and pray
writing love letters to God about you.
I pray for a beautiful life with little if any strife
and hope with every lesson brings love.

Thoughts run through my mind
never enough time to tell you how much I love you.
Your voice, touch and eyes
disturb my tender thighs
need a moment to breathe...

Looking forward to a call
listening close to it all
the words you bring they so move me.
Thank you for your time
Thank you for being mine.
Until we meet again.

Written By Nicholl McGuire

Shuffled Vision of You

Shuffling feet
Stop take a breath.

Strong arms
pushed my body into the chair.
Angry thoughts, I saw you.

You smiled it was different
You couldn’t get love at home.
Didn’t have any to give
So you shuffled your feet
To another one’s home.

Took deep breaths
In and out.
Up and down
On a lazy boy chair.

She flung her arms around you
and pushed you down
or so you would like me to think.

I saw you naked!
Naked lie!
Naked truth!
In my shuffled vision.

While I took a deep breath.


Nicholl McGuire

I Still Want To Marry…

If I could take a moment
to think about yesterday.
My heart pounded in my chest
racing within your dreams.

You told me you loved me
wanted to spend the rest of your life
with me.

Images of a white wedding
briefly flashed through my mind.
I cried inside…

You told me of a big house
Saturday morning breakfast
watching cartoons
spending time with the children.

It seemed so right
but I ached inside.
I didn’t want that life anymore.

You opened wounds
I had lived it all before.

A glossy tear filled your right eye
You were hiding your pain.
Tempted to leave the room, yet you stayed.

You were not him.
A mistake from my past.
An uncomfortable quiet,
we looked to the floor.

Negative energy you and I endured,
All the while reaching an understanding.


Nicholl McGuire

Love

I love, love but it doesn’t love me.
Love is too busy, too self-absorbed.

Wanting nothing better then to give
A little and take a lot
Of my soul
My hole
My freedom
And crush me.

Hurt me until I can’t get
Up from the avalanche of pain
On top of my head…

I hate love and it doesn’t love me.

Nicholl McGuire

Adult Lust

We didn't waste anytime.
From a few phone calls, dinner, a walk in the park
and now we lie naked between wet sheets.

I reflect to a time I first saw him.
He was handsome, reminding me of a childhood friend.
His smile displayed innocense, deceitfully saying,
"I want nothing more than friendship."

He teased me with his simplicity.
No complicated arrangements to make time to talk.
He was careful in the way he spoke, his voice
never cracked, stuttered or raised.

I felt overly trusting of this man I barely knew.
His cubicle around a corner from mine.
Time didn't stand still when we saw one another.
We practically bumped into each other and only said, "Excuse me."

Then one day without notice, a request for a phone number,
then an impromptu invitation to dinner.
The stranger was secretly interested.

Our attraction grew with each glance across candlelight,
he was something new for me and I for him.
Neither of us gave each other time to talk about the past,
break each other's heart, and make plans for the future.

We only wanted what we could get now.
The "now" was more important, then anything else.
He wasn't what I had envisioned myself to be with,
but I had settled.

As we lie on our backs in the dark,
both of us have rolled over.

We both know the truth. There will be nothing more to this in the morning.

Nicholl McGuire

Childhood Love

Eyes tell it all.
A stare from a distance
it's been weeks now,
he never misses a free moment to look at me.

If roses had eyes, his would be on the petals.
Bold, beautiful, flawless and passionate.
I simply respond with a wide smile.

We don't talk, at least not yet.
Too early to reveal feelings.
Wishing, wanting and waiting to hear what's to come.

Too afraid to make a move first.
Don't want to say the wrong thing.
I never felt like this, he is all I ever think of.

My eyes are blinded by lust.
My stomach is sick with fear.
My legs can't stand when he is around.

He is what the fairy books would call, "A prince."
If only I could hold his hand, touch his lips
say I love you...

I think I hear my mother calling, until next time, Diary.