I Thought I Was In Love

I thought I was in love,
I thought I had it all.
But now I realize,
I was Humpty who had a great fall!

I needed a friend who had a few ends,
but all he had really was many great sins!
Told me he was true,
left me feelin' blue.

I don't desire him now like I desired him then,
because my heart is cold and dented like tin.
Too many hits from life --
always fighting strife.

I don't tell my story
for pity or glory.
Just don't want my girls to end up on Maury!
I know what it feels like to be lonely in bed
popping pills for the drama inside your head!

I am not lonely nor am I l blessed
more often than not I feel stressed!
Being pulled from place to place.
Having to look at yet another man's face!

Looking for freedom on a street called, "Where?"
Carrying a heavy, large heart with a tear.

Yeah I thought I was in love
thought I had it all,
but now I realize I was Humpty
who had a great fall!

Nicholl McGuire http://www.twitter.com/poemsbynicholl

Head Games

Sometimes a love poem about heartache is just what you need to remind you not to fall for the foolishness of the past again. See here:

Head Games

Love Came Knocking on My Door

Love oh love
came knocking on the door
brought some healing
for my heart that was sore.

Where have you been
while I lied in sin?

At church praying for me?
A child once blind, but now I see!

I don't deserve you
been very bad.
Walking around often feeling sad.

Made the angels hang their heads low
was a villain in a show.
Thought God would tell me "no."

No to a lovely marriage
no to a baby in a carriage.
No to all the dreams
between my midnight screams.

But his love, his grace
brought me through
don't know where I would be without you!

Interracial Pain

Black, white, red, yellow, brown
they saw colors
we didn't.

Told us we would outgrow one another, that was a lie.

They saw two people from two different worlds.
We saw one world with one view - love.

Who were they to try to disturb calm seas?
Who were they who claimed to look out for our best interest?

They were fearful of the message, the bigger picture.
They feared change, we didn't.

Love has no limits, no boundaries.
It isn't self-serving, cowardly, emotional, hostile, white or black.

I loved him, he loved me.

Notice past tense.

For wide open eyes that just stared as we walked, talked won in the long run.
Quiet whispers, eye rolls, hate planted seeds in young minds in the short-run.

How long, how long did we have to fight them about us?

Crying behind closed doors, tears wetting sheets.
Heavy hearts we had back then. The pain just too deep.

Pressure seemed to weigh on our hearts, our minds.
It wasn't enough anymore to say, "Love conquers all."

We had grown weary, tired of the spotlight.

Decades strolled by while we cleansed our minds, hearts of memory.

We see black and white everyday holding hands.

He on one side of the world and I on the other.

While holding a woman that looks like him and I holding a man that looks like me, we think, "That couple could have been us. That couple should have been us!"

But we were no longer color blind.

Poem: Someone like Me
There are those times when we wonder if there is anyone who understands us. In my quest to learn to look inwardly and appreciate me, I thought about "Someone Like Me" as the poem illustrates.
Read More

No Good Jesse

Not happy with my life!

Angered with the man I once cared about.

Taken for a ride,

but not anymore.

He doesn’t want his family,

ruining his profile.

He does what is convenient for self --

the littlest of things.

Major sacrifices?

Not on this man's agenda.

He has issues!

Still caught up in the past,

with thoughts and feet walking.

How can one move on with his life?

When he still ponders about the “what ifs" of life?

If you knew him you would love him --

temporarily that is...

Until you learned of his selfishness,

his insecurities,

his lies!

Did I tell you he was a liar?

Holds his head in an odd way.

Looks down,

looks around...

As if I can’t see the truth.

Always hiding something.

Says he isn’t doing this or that.

But he is always doing.

Whether driving to places,

if I only knew.

Whether texting messages,

if only I knew.

Whether flirting with the ladies on the street,

if only I knew.

But I know.

I can’t go,

not yet.

No plan!

Too easy to run

to nothing ahead,

only to turn back around again.

So I’ll just wait.

Nicholl McGuire

Sex, Sex and More Sex

Thoughts not to be interrupted

an imagined world

where actions make up the inner being of a nymphomaniac

desires, passions to make love

over and over again and again

no specific gender or race

no specific size or weight

no desired place

no desired position

the heat arises

between the thighs

as one creates graphic

scenes of being toyed

handcuffs

body oil

bubble baths

are used in this game

committed relationships

are not on the mind

to be fingered like a bowling ball

to be groped like cow's teats

to be saddled like a horse

these are the things on the mind

haunting, yet suttle thoughts of disease

begin to disappear as the sexual anticipation begins to set in

foreplay moments are forgotten

as quick as they begin

hot, breathy sighs

high-pitched screams mixed with pain, pleasure

between quiet, endless moans

a good time is almost over

and reality will begin to unfold

in coming days.

Nicholl McGuire

Forgetting Isn't Easy

You won't forget me

when your alone

lying on your bed at night.

You won't forget me

when she's riding you

and making circles on your chest

with her fingertips.

You won't forget me because certain songs,

dances, restaurants, and parks will be long-lasting

reminders.

I will float through your mind

and you will only hate me more,

because you won't be able to fight

the feeling I leave after

I float away.

At first glance my image

was permanently reflected

in your vision.

When we first talked my voice

found home in your ears.

When we first touched, my hands

left hidden scars on your skin.

and when we first made love...

(something you may now regret)

the chills, the thrills, the taste,

the passion became a part of you.

Way down deep within your heart,

you will continue to burn for me,

to scream for me, to ache for me,

to hate me!

Even long after...you will love someone

like you loved me, you will kiss someone

the way you did me and you will embrace

someone like you did me

and this will all happen because

we became one for just one night.

Nicholl McGuire

http://lovedatingadvice.blogspot.com

Separate

It's easy to say
I don't love you
I don't need you
I don't want you
It's over.

We're no good for each other
we're too young for this
we're confused over the phone.

But what is it about standing in front
of one another
looking into eyes
and not being able to think or speak
what we really, truly feel
underneath our hearts
in the pit of our stomachs.

The words are drowning reaching out to hold, to kiss
only the bandages
to cover the wounds
and you never say it
until it's too late...

Tears, screams
and physical fights
the words come from your mouth like vomit
and you can't take them back!

Mixed with hate, frustration
your vomit just lies there waiting
for you to clean it up!
But it's too late...

You should have said what
you felt, a long time ago
should have exposed your wounds,
but now,
it's too late.

So you sit back on a couch
alone
rehearsing a new scenario.

Nicholl McGuire
http://www.twitter.com/poemsbynicholl

Is Love Really a Pit?

I'm falling down in that pit they call love.
Everyone smiling in the pit, everyone frowning up above.

And just before I reach bottom,
I grab hold to a small rope
dangling from above
and then I begin to climb away.

Yet, the pit promises a good life.
Suffocation is my worry.
Loneliness creates confusion.
Past pain nags at my soul.

I try to climb away toward
those strangers at the top.

Their smiling, urging me on.
Then my conscience whispers
and I let go of the rope.

The strangers, up above, frown.
I fall further down into the pit
wearing a false smile
along the way
I fall.

Nicholl McGuire
http://associatedcontent.com/nichollmcguire