Melody

It is unclear in my mind - the melody
a sweet, sad love song
for once I am alone in my feelings
no one around to share the constant struggles
of not knowing
when it's safe
to trust
to love
to care
it hurts, but it doesn't hurt
to imitate love
to create an intense passion
knowing that I couldn't care less
can't depend on anyone
to fulfill voids in my wounded heart
can't cling to anyone
to satisfy my selfish desires
yet for a price
I can be temporarily put at ease
when all my world around me
seems to be weighing on my back
I can be relieved
while lying on back
poor soul of mine
I am lost
and the love song keeps playing
and I keep trying to remember
the painful melody
one day soon I will save
my heart some grief
but for now I keep forgetting
and I continue to walk on
needles and egg shells trying
to make sense of nonsense
soon I will throw my hands up
high above my head
and I will be carried to some
higher place for a visit
and I will remember
the melody as it will play
one last time
and it will be then
that this poor soul will know.