No Going Back (1999)

I heard the loud clack,
closed the door.
Behind it,
a snore.

This was it,
no going back.
I finally got the nack.
It was easy, a snap!

No more going back and back.
Tired of spending a stack, a stack!

Couldn't go back!
His emotions did lack.
I, unfulfilled, could no longer relationship build.
Use to be very skilled at break up, to make up.
But I was one of many in his line-up.
Drank too much from an emotional death cup.

It started with his traditional belief,
brought on by intense grief.
Women stay in their lane,
sit quiet, and respect the ball and chain.
Convinced of so many foolish lies,
bad personality took me by surprise!

Anything to escape his physical pain,
how could one man be bane!
His chronic flirtation produced much frustration.
Within him, no cessation!
Remained in his dramas for far too long--
I knew, I was wrong--
was headed to damnation,
didn't flee temptation.

Couldn't see any other way out,
so I gave a blood-curdling shout,
"Want out!  Want out! I can't take anymore!
Not another whore!"
No objection, more rejection.

It became increasingly easier,
as he became more sleazier.
Beauty faded, his sweet talk
left me jaded.

Taking one day at a time,
felt like doing a crime.
Worried someone would see me,
didn't know how to free me!

Loved ones knew my struggle
and all the tasks I liked to juggle.
Warned me, "Ya'll ain't no couple.
You don't even snuggle, cuddle.  You living in a bubble!"

Looked myself in the mirror
truth became clearer.
Looked upon a smile turned upside down,
it was time to leave our miserable town.

Problem: brought the baggage with me,
drained what little glee, he grew irritating
like a flea.

As time moved so slow,
I knew I had to go.
So goodbye to the old door,
the snore,
love doesn't keep score,
it isn't a chore.
A great moment in time, Soul soar!

Nicholl McGuire