Thought about the pain I went through.
Didn’t want to do it again.
But I didn’t have the courage to say no
could have walked away
could have said not now
Not tonight
Not anytime.
My "no" was nothing more than a mumble.
It wasn’t loud, it wasn’t strong.
Did I really need this man?
Did I really want him?
Never liked sitting around for too long.
Listening too long.
Visiting for long.
Women like me become bored rather easily.
We take sudden trips.
Make sudden purchases.
Plan sudden moves.
Change lovers suddenly.
This isn’t what I wanted.
This isn’t what I needed.
Love was what I had hoped
but flesh got in the way
like it always has...
it cries for warmth, a touch, a kiss, a release
then it is satisfied until next time.
Yet love is forever.
It holds on and never lets go.
It doesn't wash off while promising to call later.
Its permanent and doesn't need a pledge, it just is...
so why do we prevent love from taking over
by hasty decisions to have sex?
Why do we torture ourselves with insecurities afterward
and kill potential friendships?
Why do we become selfish, and moody when we desire more of it?
Why does sex rob us of our strength and make us so tired?
One day I hope to say no to sex and hello to love.
