It's been a long time coming but I have finally come face to face with my past. A past that shamed me, almost left me for dead all in the name of love. I don't know why I ever put so much trust in one man at 21 years old, but I did. I thought he would be my solution to a childhood that wished for a father's love. Although my dad lived with us, his head wasn't with us unless we made him look good by doing well in school or made him look bad by not being obedient. I had longed to talk with my dad about everything that was going on in my life. I wanted him to listen, advise me in love, and most of all embrace me and say, "Whatever your problem, it will be okay." Instead, I got criticism, jokes about my acne ridden face, and constantly being told that I was exaggerating a story everytime I had the courage to share a part of me. My parents had not grown with me as I grew up, they still saw me as a little girl looking for attention by telling stories of make believe. As much as I wanted them to take me seriously, the more I felt they were just becoming more and more anxious for me and my abstract mind to leave the house. Eventually I did and when I finally got from up under the dictatorship, I ran into the arms of a man who was like my dad: strict, serious most of the time and controlling. It was his way or no way. I wrote a journal of my ordeal with this man by using poetry as my healing. I pray someone who is reading this blog and having trouble with an abusive mate will get this book, it may save your life!
